I support the freedom to marry for gays and lesbians because I support the right to divorce under family law with standing in family court.

My partner of 9 years, with whom I was raising my biological son from age 4 to age 13, left us abruptly for an employee in her office, 30 years her junior. I had no recourse for financial support and no standing in family court. Her attorneys, encouraged her to claim that we had never been a family, that I had no ownership in any assets because I was not on title and that she had no connection to my son. I filed a civil suit for breach of oral contract, and after 18 months of experiencing aggressive legal manipulations and personal attacks, I settled for only enough money to cover my legal fees. I was left with more house overhead than my income, no retirement, no assets and no support. At age 55 and with a history of breast cancer, I am working day and night to keep us afloat at the risk of good health. In contrast, my former partner continues to enjoy $500,000 annual income and all property and other assets purchased and appreciated during our non-marriage. This should not happen to anyone.

My greatest allies were the straight families we enjoyed as school and social friends for all those years. They understand the commitment and joy of raising children. They could not believe that she was "allowed" to abandon a child and impoverish a partner. To me, the marriage laws currently in place are the result of a societal sensibility to protect dependents from exactly what happened to us, however, these laws are simply not available to gays. It is a matter of civil rights to have the same protection under the law as every other citizen.