What Marriage Means to us
Barbara & Kerry, Sacramento
My wife and I were married on December 2, 2006. Unfortunately we were only able to marry in our hearts and in the eyes of our church, family and friends, but we're still waiting for the legal recognition of the government.
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Barbara and Kerry get married.
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It is simply wrong that we cannot be legally, civilly married in the state of California, only because we are of the same gender. We want to be treated equally under the law as is stated in the state and U.S. constitutions, NOW. It is fine for people to choose not to be married because at least they have the option to be married if they so choose. However, it isn't alright that as citizens of the United States, and Californians born-and-raised who pay taxes and work to make our community here in Sacramento a wonderful place to live, that my wife and I cannot have our marriage legally recognized.
Domestic partnership is not an acceptable alternative, as it is a dehumanizing, separate system where you don't even get a ceremony but rather go to the business licensing office of the Secretary of State pay a fee, and get a paper that says you are now 'partnered,’ no differently than a set of business owners. Our relationship is not a business proposition, but rather a relationship based on deep feelings of love and trust. The hoops we've had to jump through and costs we've had to incur just to change our names after we were married were just ridiculous.
One of the biggest differences between being 'partnered' and being married becomes apparent when we travel out of state into Nevada, where we have family in the Tahoe area. We have to bring along a stack of documents so that if anything happens to one of us when we aren't in California we will be allowed to make necessary decisions for each other. If we were married there would be no question that as 'wives', as we like to call ourselves, we could make medical and other types of decisions with little or no problem.
A separate system for some, is not an equal system for all. Thank you for letting us tell our story.
With much love and truth,
Barbara and Kerry
Date Created: 11/13/2007
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