Monifa: We met at Mango (a dance club.) I was feeling good and I had my good shoes on.  I went to ask Maya to dance and she said yes.  I thought I was in. So I asked Maya for her number and she said no.  I gave her mine, but she didn't call me.

Maya:  I wasn't feeling myself that day. I wasn't ready to date anyone at that time. I knew Monifa had the potential to be a perfect partner, so I didn't want to go out with her until I could bring my best self. I called her four months later, but her number had changed. I thought I had missed my chance to be with her.

Maya: She decided not to ask me for my info this time. She took matters into her own hands and got my email from the sign in sheet!

Monifa:  I asked her out on a date via email and she said yes. Finally after all those years of running into her when neither of us were available, we went out on a date. We knew by the end of the second date that we had chosen the right time to connect. And now we're going to get married!

Maya: I should say that when I first met Monifa and each time I ran into her after that I was happy to see her.  I always hoped our time would come. Now that we are finally together and extra in love, a wedding will not change the way I feel about Monifa. But, it will help my family and friends see how much I love her, how happy we make each other.  They will understand the seriousness of our relationship and stop calling her "my friend."

Monifa: My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary, and my grandparents were married for well over forty years.  It's been my life plan as long as I've remembered to have a wife, a family, and a home.  Being gay doesn't in any way compromise that for me.  When Maya and I announced our engagement, I was always offended when people would say "Oh will you have a ceremony or something?" I'd say "NO. We're getting married."

I fundamentally believe in celebrating our marriage in front of family and friends who bear witness to our ritual. A wedding is a universal symbol of marriage.  I do want the legal rights and I know that we deserve them. But, we are coming from a place of God given rights that are inalienable and non-negotiable.

Maya: I think because I can pass for straight, marrying Monifa will help my family to accept the fact that I'm gay and that our lives aren't that different from theirs. My brothers, their wives, my nieces, my dad, and Monifa and I were all out a restaurant together one evening.  

My brother said, "I'm not cool with your lifestyle." And I said, "What lifestyle are you talking about? I go to church just like you do. I look after our parents just like you do. I want to have children just like you do and I love and respect my lady just like you do." 

And he was totally quiet because he knew it was true.